In probably the most “hold my beer” moment since SoftBank thought WeWork was a tech company, Intel is officially entering a joint venture with TSMC (a.k.a. The one entity that’s been kneecapping Intel for the better part of a decade.) (Source: Giphy) According to The Information (and now everyone with a Bloomberg Terminal and a pulse), Taiwan Semiconductor will take a 20% stake in a new company that’ll run Intel’s U.S. factories. Of course, the...
If you’re down bad enough to be lurking around Reddit or scrolling through crypto Twitter lately, you’ve probably run into a genius claiming, “I’m going all in on crypto… Trump can’t tariff the blockchain!” Cool. And I can’t put a parking ticket on your imaginary Lambo either, but here we are. In theory, yeah… tariffs don’t apply to decentralized networks. In practice, The crypto market still lives and dies by economic headline...
In the simplest explanation possible, KinderCare Learning Companies just got absolutely body-bagged. Shares of the “my daddy is a deadbeat” company tanked over 12% after short seller Bear Cave dropped a report that basically torched the company’s reputation and lit a fire under every investor still holding this thing like it wasn’t a ticking time bomb. (Source: Giphy) Now, of course, we’ve all seen short reports before. Most are just girthy PDF...
So Hershey, America’s cavity dealer, has officially decided it wants to be the Whole Foods of snacks now. Word on the (Wall Street) Journal is that the company is this close to dropping $750 million to scoop up LesserEvil, the bougie snack brand best known for popcorn made with avocado oil and packaging that screams “mom-approved.” (Source: Giphy) In short, in a world where sugar is getting canceled, and snack aisles look more like Gwyneth Paltrow’s...
If you’re one of the brave souls who said, “Biotech looks cheap, time to buy the dip,” I have a simple piece of advice… close the app. Because even though it feels like spring outside, biotech’s long winter doesn’t seem like it’s gonna end for quite awhile… especially since RFK has it in a chokehold. For instance, the SPDR S&P Biotech ETF (XBI), the go-to thermometer for biotech’s overall health, has a high fever. It&rs...
Apparently, the IPO market didn’t get the memo that we’re in a bear market. It’s acting like it’s 2021 again (totally disconnected from reality). Case in point: Newsmax went public today, and honestly, I’m still trying to process it. The conservative media outlet hit the NYSE and instantly went down in the IPO hall of fame, exploding over 667% within hours. All in all, shares rocketed from $10 to more than $68, before being halted too many times to count. The...
Well, the markets had themselves a real “Don’t worry, I’ve got this” moment—that is, before it careening straight into a wall. The S&P 500 started the day rough down more than 1% mid session, but somehow managed to claw its way back and close green (+0.67%), locking in its third consecutive gain. The Nasdaq and Dow weren’t far behind, each inching higher +0.87% and +0.56%, respectively. However, once the closing bell rang, Trump dropped the “T”...
If you were wondering what the auto industry’s version of white-collar crime looks like, well here you go: The European Commission just dropped the hammer on 15 carmakers and their little trade group buddy for running a cartel so brazen it makes the mafia look like amateur hour. And the best part? Mercedes-Benz got off scot-free by legit snitching on the whole d*mn crew. (Source: Giphy) In short, between 2002 and 2017—yes, 15 years of “we swear we’re...
You ever zoom out on a stock chart so far that you have to go back 10-20 years before you see any bullish momentum? That’s Aston Martin. The longer you stare at it, the more it turns from “luxury carmaker” into “luxury tax write-off.” If you bought shares in this British icon thinking you’d ride shotgun with 007, joke’s on you… you’ve been tied to the hood while the car drove off a cliff. The stock is down 59% over the last year and 1...
For 36 glorious, brain-cell-deficient hours, Newsmax was the new Tucker Carlson stock equivalent of conservative media. The kind of ticker your gun-loving-uncle who owns three MyPillow products would call “the next Amazon.” Then the stock dropped like a fly. Just two days after its IPO, Newsmax shares crashed 68%, erasing over $17 billion in market value and sending the price tumbling from a high of $233 down to around $73 (as of right now). If you’re thinking “wel...
Let’s press pause on the usual panic programming (tariffs, inflation, and the ever-growing possibility of 2025 soup lines wrapping around Costco) and talk about something else collapsing under pressure… the e-commerce identities of eBay and Etsy. Now, on the surface, these two don’t exactly scream “power couple.” One is an aging online flea market best known for auctioning car parts in the early 2000s, and the other is a former hipster craft haven now...
It’s one of those “is the milk bad or just weird-tasting?” kind of moments in the market. Stocks are slipping, meme accounts are posting “funemployed” jokes at a record pace, and everyone from Wall Street to TikTok seems convinced we’re about to enter the economic version of a garage sale. And in the middle of it all, there’s still a crowd holding out hope for Jerome Powell to show up with a fresh rate cut like he’s Gandalf at the Battle of Helm&rs...
When I rolled out of bed this morning, scarfed down my oatmeal, and checked the markets, I expected the usual… maybe a little red, maybe a little green (and every single headline to include either “Trump” or “tariff” in it. What I didn’t expect was to be yanked back to 2020 PTSD levels. But surprise! The market just had its worst day since the COVID crash. Thanks to Trump’s surprise "Liberation Day" tariffs, every institution, bank, and...
Zymeworks isn’t exactly the kind of stock that gets people texting their group chat in all caps. It’s not one of the big boys from the biotech power alley, and most retail investors probably couldn’t tell you what the company does without first Googling how to spell it. But it just made some noise in a big way. At the AACR conference (basically the Oscars for cancer research) Zymeworks rolled in with six drug candidates and out with a ton of optimism among the entire pha...
$16B in Nvidia Chips, Straight to China… Chinese tech giants—ByteDance, Alibaba, Tencent, and probably every AI bro in Shenzhen with a data center and a dream—just collectively dropped over $16 billion on Nvidia’s H20 server chips. That’s just in Q1. Not the year. The quarter. That’s a bigger win than any earnings beat Nvidia has ever posted… and yet, the company can’t even talk about it without pissing off Washington. (Source: Giphy)&n...
Microsoft—the de facto sugar daddy of OpenAI and the unofficial landlord of half the internet—just ghosted a bunch of its bigly data center deals. From the cornfields of Illinois to the concrete jungle of Jakarta, Redmond’s been pulling out faster than… well…. let’s just say really fast. (Source: Giphy) In short, sources say Microsoft has either halted or slow-walked data center projects in at least six regions: the UK, Australia, Indon...
As we all know by now (just check your portfolio, you’ll see what I mean)... Donald Trump’s new “Liberation Day” tariffs is the biggest story of the year, and let’s just say… Tim Cook might be stitching together an emergency friendship bracelet for Mar-a-Lago as we speak (might have worked on Obama). The biggest headline of the day is a 54% tariff on Chinese goods. Oh and that’s 34% on top of the existing 20% rate, which is basically a death wish...
Before we jump into today's article, Happy Liberation Day! Me to President Trump right now: “I’m tired of this Grandpa!” Trump: “Well that’s just too d*mn bad!” (Source: Tenor) Now back to our regularly scheduled program… It appears Tesla just posted the kind of Q1 numbers that make even the most diamond-handed Elon mouth breathers reach for the sell button with tears in their eyes. Deliveries for the first quarter cam...
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